We often hear, “It’s just play” or “He’s only playing.” But registered psychotherapist Elda Almario says we shouldn’t be quick to minimize play.
At Laro Therapy, her Ontario-based online practice, play is one of the modalities used to connect with children, particularly those who are still developing their ability to articulate. “Play is a child’s language,” Elda states. “No one teaches a child how to play; they just know. It is how they express themselves, how they learn, and how they process their world.”
The way children play can offer clues about what they’re experiencing, usually there are themes that would emerge. “We get to observe what they’re most drawn to, what behaviors keep on showing up. Even the narratives that they create while they’re playing can be so rich.” The insights become the basis for finding ways to support the child and recommending coping strategies as well.
The therapist usually spends several sessions creating a safe space and interacting with the child in a variety of ways. “Depending on the type of play therapy, with some, we’re actively engaged, we’re actually playing, we’re directing the play. And then there’s also some where we’re taking on an observant role, allowing the child to lead the play. Often, we integrate these different types of play therapy, it depends on what we think suits the child best. Depending on their age, on their concern.”
Therapy or not, play is essential. “It’s not just this nice thing that you just do. A child should play because play fosters development. Physical development, in terms of running, jumping, playing sports. Cognitive development, it allows a child to think, to explore. There’s socio-emotional development, children connect with other peers through play. And then they get to experience emotions as well through play. For example, in waiting for your turn, there could be frustration tolerance that could happen there,” she enumerates. Preventing play can cause someone to miss valuable opportunities to develop those areas.
According to Elda, both solitary play and social play are crucial, each offering unique advantages. When it comes to toys, there’s no hard limit to what a toy should be. “If play was a language, toys are the words. And you really want to think of toys as providing opportunities. Ideally, it would be less structured. For example, I would prefer blocks over a toy that has one particular thing that it can do. Because if it’s less structured, they can use their imagination, their creativity, and turn it into whatever it is that they want. It could be a clothes hanger, and they will use it as an airplane, as a train, whatever, right? Whereas if a toy is too structured, it won’t be something else, that’s just what it is.”
It’s not only children who benefit from play. It matters at every stage of life and is not something we should outgrow. “Play continues to foster development in different areas of our life. That doesn’t stop at a certain age. It’s not as though when you hit 18, development stops. It continues, it is lifelong,” Elda emphasizes. She points out that play need not be confined to toys; it could be art, music, dance, or other creative forms.
“The idea is you’re not being perfectionistic. You’re not doing these things solely for money, or solely for the title. The idea is you’re loosening up. So it’s play as an action word, but also play as a way of being – doing things playfully. You’re not too tight, you’re not too tense about just simply focusing on achievement, achievement, and achievement. I believe that play brings so much ease in one’s life. We’re expected to just survive and do what needs to be done, and earn money. But it’s important that we play to improve one’s quality of life, to stay healthy,” she explains. “I’d like to conceptualize play as not something that’s an isolated thing that I only do for 30 minutes after I work from eight to five. I want to challenge that. How do we infuse play within our day? Again, going back to differentiating play as a verb versus play being an attitude, as even a way of being.”
What is your relationship with play? Elda suggests that grown-ups reflect on this question. Do you view play as something you shouldn’t be doing as an adult, or as a reward you can only enjoy after working hard? “You deserve to play,” she affirms, stressing that play is our birthright, that it’s important to engage in it, and that we don’t have to earn the right to enjoy it.
This perspective goes against what many people commonly believe and might come as a surprise to some. But Elda isn’t exactly conventional. She even uses the word revolution to describe Laro Therapy. When she opened it in 2020, two years after moving to Canada, she built it on her own terms. “I wanted to do things in such a way that I feel good. I want to provide psychotherapy. I want to run my practice meeting my standards, really providing efficiency, excellent work, high standards, and quality of care. And I get to do that as a practice owner,” she elaborates.
Her psychotherapy clients come from diverse nationalities and age groups, though most are Filipinos navigating identity issues related to adjusting to life in a new country, family dynamics, and intergenerational trauma.
“We are culturally sensitive, we honor one’s identity and just recognize the nuances, the complexity of our life circumstances as Filipinos in the diaspora, whether one is a first-generation immigrant or a second-generation immigrant. I don’t come into it simply from a theoretical perspective, but really also through lived experience,” she describes her approach. So around her, Filipino clients quickly feel seen and understood. It is a huge bonus that she can converse in Filipino. “There is immediately that connection that’s made because of my identity. And so that’s why I don’t shy away from showing who I am, from making myself known. In many ways, it’s also been so healing for me to be part of my client’s journey of self-discovery and healing. I never take my role for granted. It’s such a privilege being able to witness folks’ vulnerabilities and wounds and struggles and then see their progress, it’s just so immensely rewarding.”
Prior to migrating, she was with the MLAC Institute for Psychosocial Services, helmed by clinical psychologist and National Social Scientist Honey Carandang. Elda also worked at an addiction rehabilitation facility in Tagaytay. She knew early on that she wanted to enter the field of psychology, having been inspired by her younger Autistic brother, Cedric.
She continues to serve the autistic population and also offers clinical supervision for BIPOC therapists. This involves mentoring and supporting new practitioners under the requirements of the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario, the local regulating body. “I’m particular with BIPOC therapists, racialized clinicians. Because again, I really want to focus on underserved communities. This is a community I feel connected to and I feel really called to work with,” she concludes.
Learn more about Elda Almario and her work by visiting www.larotherapy.ca. Follow @larotherapy on Instagram for more of her insights.
All images courtesy of Laro Therapy
